Sünnipäevalised

"Reaktori" järgmine number on kohe kohe ilmumas ja seal saab kombekohaselt ilmuma ka minu kaastöö. Seekordset sünnipäevalugu kirjutades avastasin aga, et ma olen siin juba olnud. Märtsikuu sünnipäevalaste juures. Ehk et "Palju õnne, Kuulus Filmiinimene" alustab teist ringi. Mis tähendab, et nüüd on täpselt paras aeg teha väike kokkuvõte.Võibolla on Teil mõni õnnitletav kahe silma vahele jäänud, võibolla tahate uuesti üle lugeda, miks ühte või teist persooni õnnitlema tõttasin. Väga lihtsas formaadis. Nimetan ja viitan persoonile ja nimetan selle ühe filmi, mille vaatamata jätmisest kaotaksid ainult sina ise.

märts - Kurt Russell - The Thing
aprill - Richard Donner - The Omen
mai - Lance Henriksen - Pumpkinhead
juuni - Robert Englund - Nightmare on Elm Street
juuli - Paul Verhoeven - RoboCop
august - William Friedkin - Exorcist
september - Dan O'Bannon - Return of the Living Dead
oktoober - Sam Raimi - Evil Dead
november - Jamie Lee Curtis - Halloween
detsember - Joe D'Amato - Buio Omega
jaanuar - Roger Vadim - Barbarella
veebruar - Don Coscarelli - Bubba Ho-Tep

Muide, kui kedagi peaks huvitama, et miks üldse selline rubriik ja kellelgi teisel peaks olema mure, et kas ma
ikka jätkan selle kirjutamist, siis jah, jätkan küll, minul endal on seda rubriiki ju kõige rohkem vaja. Vananedes ikka mälestused veidi tuhmuvad ja on tarvis vana head kulda üle vaadata. Ühtlasi võib ju siis mõned read ka kirja panna, pärast endal hea üle lugeda.

Koll nimega Mono / Daikaijû mono / Kaiju Mono (2016)

"Dakaiju mono" on põhimõtteliselt nagu "Pacific Rim". Ainult et koletis nimega Mono ronib välja maapõest mitte merepõhjast ja temaga võitlema ei saadeta mitte hiigelmechat vaid imetrussikutes kangelast. Kangelane on filmi alguses küll natuke kõhetu olemisega, aga cosplay huvilisest proffessori imerohu abil kasvab ta musklisse ja kõrgusse. Huvitava kõrvalmõjuna muudab imerohi ka mehe näojooni, aga reaktsiooni põhjal filmi naispeategelane seda kas ei märka või siis kiidab vaikides heaks. Häälekalt kiidab ta lihtsalt mehe muskulatuuri.

Võibolla kui veel mõnest väiksest erinevusest sellesama "Pacific Rimiga" võrreldes rääkida, siis CGI osakaal on "Daikaijû Monos" põhimõtteliselt olematu. On muidugi vana hea silmadest välkude tulistamine, aga suures osas toimetavad jaapanlased miniatuuridega. Hõffisõbrale on see stiil ehk kõige tuttavam "Danger 5" filmiseeriast.

See oli nüüd vast kõige ilmsem vihje sel liinil, et suure tõenäosusega saab "Daikaijû Mono" olema üks kõige jaburamaid filme, mida sel kevadel Haapsalus näidatakse. Selline armsalt siiras jabur, mitte "Tokyo Gore Police" stiilis. Praegu mälu pingutades, siis verd näeb vist umbes ühes stseenis. Põhiline oli ikkagi Mono ja imetrussikutes maadlusmeistri vastasseis, kus vaheldumisi üksteisel selga prügiseks püüti teha ja selle käigus mudelautod ja -tankid ja majamaketid kannatada said.

Boonusena lisaks ka väike metsas vana meistri käe all tugevaks saamise treeningmontaaž, mille taustamuusika kõlas õrnalt Eye of the Tigeri rütmis. Minu jaoks just see koht, mis näitas kõige paremini ära, et lavastaja/stsenarist Minoru Kawasaki ei läinud lihtsalt suvalise jaburdamise peale välja, vaid tal oli selge idee, kuidas see kummardus klassikaliste kaiju fimide suunal piisavalt viisakas välja paistaks.

Väga positiivne elamus. Usutavasti kulub festivalil kõigi nende rappimiste vahelduseks täpselt ära.

When Animals Attack: The 70 Best Horror movies with Killer Animals

Totally coincidentally I have on my writing desk (among other books) „1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die“ and „100 European Horror Films“ and not so coincidentally an e-reader with „When Animals Attack: The 70 Best Horror movies with Killer Animals“. I've read them all from cover to cover. So you could say I'm the target audience.

Naturally I don't take them as must see lists but it's nice to randomly open them up, spend a few minutes to read about a movie and based on that decide if it might be worth the effort of actually watching it.

Yes, it easy to counter that thought – we all like different things in movies, what works for one might not work for another. But, especially for genre movies – passion counts. Because genre movie is (most of the time) not a classically good movie. Either the script is full of holes or acting leaves emotions to be desired. There is always something to pick on. But if a movie has that something that forces you to ovelook its deficiencies and makes you grin with glee, then if you can put some of that emotion into your review – for me that is recommendation enough.

As you might expect „When Animals Attack“ is a book about movies where different animals try to wrestle the crown of nature out of the hand of an unsuspecting humanity. The earliest example „The Devil Bat“ (1940) with Bela Lugosi (who unexpectedly doesn't turn into bat himself) to „Birdemic“ (2010) and „Sharknado“ (2013).

Of course „Jaws“ (1975) and „The Birds“ (1963) are also included. But when consensus for these two tends to gravitate to „great movies“ category, the other sixty eight are more or less up for „good, bad or trash“ debate where it boils down to passion of the reviewer. The best example to me was the review of Sharknado where reviewer used „Sharktopus“ (2010) as a reference point to what is good in Sharknado but not in Sharktopus. And of course - review for Sharktopus was up next where the reviewer uses a phrase „A giant piece of cheesy cinematic goodness...“

Those different angles and styles of writing is the bases of me recommending this book. If you want to watch a movie open up the book, read a review maybe one more and maybe a third also, just to be extra sure. When none of those three tickle your interests you're clearly not into b-movies and should choose another book. However, my favourite review in the book paints Orca: The Killer Whale (1977) as a multi-layered drama (I thought it as a Dino de Laurentiis atempt to cash in on Jaws success) and several other writers bring out some interesting connections to movies you might not have noticed yourself. I certainly didn't see the connection between „Them!“ (1954) And „Aliens“ (1986).

My own personal tragedy is, that I would have preferred chronological order to alphabetical, so that the development of genre, mentioned in the foreword by editor Vanessa Morgan, whould have been more clear to reader. 50s with atomic diet that made animals grow, 70s when ordinary animals turned on humans and 90s onward when animals started to gain on size once more but humans show less and less sense.

70 is not 1001, so obviously the book doesn't contain all the movies where animals stage an uprising against the tyranny on men. Simple question to my better half „Name three animals that could turn against men“ gave me those options – a rhino, a constrictor, a cow. I suppose that list is not definitive and I'm not even sure there is a animal attack type of movie about a rhino or a cow. But snakes, birds, spiders, slugs, sheep and many more fuzzy, cuddly and deadly animals, bugs, fish do. And, I can without effort imagine a scene where a enormous white rhino impales a great white hunter and I would gladly watch a movie about the empire of cows where armored ox take on the last of men led by Russell Crowe.

„When Animals Attack“ is certainly worth a read. Especially on paper format because you also got pictures there to complement writing.

Kes on Vanessa Morgan?

Uskumatult lihtne on saada inimesi klõpsima lahti tundmatult adressaadilt saabunud kirja. Minu puhul piisas lihtsalt intigeerivast pealkirjast. Grow 5 inches... oot, ühest teisest kirjast tahtsin rääkida. When Animals Attack: The 70 Best Horror Movies with Killer Animals. Loomulikult ma avan selle kirja. Selle saatis mulle Vanessa Morgan (@eeriestories), kes osutus sellenimelise raamatu koostajaks ja kes minule teadmatul põhjusel arvas, et ma äkki tahan seda raamatut lugeda ja selle kohta oma mõtted kirja panna. Loomulikult et tahtsin. Iga normaalne inimene ju tahab sellise nimega raamatut lugeda. Vist?

Viisaka inimesena suutis Vanessa säilitada professionaalsuse isegi pärast seda, kui algaja intervjueerija minu isikus tema loomingu suhtes täieliku ebateadlikust üles näitas ja vastas neile mõnele küsimusele, mis ma olin talle kirja teel saatnud. Siin on need küsimused ja vastused.

Vanessa Morgan - Obsessed with horror movies, cats, and living my dreams. (Selliselt tutvustab kirjanik end oma Twitteri kontol)

How did you become obsessed with horror? A book you read or a movie you saw?

I must have been born that way. I can’t remember NOT being obsessed with horror. As a child, I went to the horror section of the video store just to look at the gruesome covers and imagine the stories that would go with them. And I may or may not have been torturing my Barbie dolls.

As a writer your stories seem to delve on themes of the darker side of human spirit. Not a fan of supernatural horror?

Supernatural horror is a favorite. I’ve already published several supernatural horror stories (Drowned Sorrow, The Strangers Outside) and I’m currently working on my third supernatural thriller.

„Drowned Sorrow“ was a self published book? As you're still writing – that gamble worked out well?

I tried both the traditional and self-published route. Self-publishing is the most lucrative, but it’s hard work. You can compare it to working for a company or having your own business. The problem is not all self-publishers are willing to put in the work. They write the book, and that’s it. But you still need to pay for professional edits, lay-out, cover design, and promotion.

Moving on to „When Animals Attack„ How did this idea come to life? You woke up one morning and had an eureka moment?

It’s an idea that has been with me for a long time, so I can’t remember how it came about. I probably thought it would be nice to read a book about the subject and then noticed that it didn’t exist.

70 movies made the book. I'd imagine you approached more than 70 writers with the idea. Were they easy to convince?

I know many of the writers personally, so that really helped. However, having them deliver a text on time was a problem. Most writers don’t seem to be familiar with the term “deadline.”

How was it decided who gets to write about „Jaws“? Based on the amount of references at least half on contributors had it as their favourite animal attack movie.

Make that 90% of the contributors. Indeed, I didn’t need a writer to tell us how awesome Jaws is or to tell us some well-known facts. I wanted the reader to learn something new from the essay. So when Warren Fahy mentioned he saw a screening of Jaws in Mexico where the cinema staff put a piece of cardboard in front of the screen each time the movie became too violent, I knew that he was the right man for the job. His essay is overflowing with such original anecdotes.

Jaws was a certain entry, but in your foreword you mention that some of your personal favorites are missing. Now's the chance to name those (I missed „Piranha 3D“ most).

I’m not a fan of Piranha 3D, so I don’t mind that it doesn’t have a place in the book. An animal attack classic that’s really missing, in my opinion, is Tarantula. It’s the first animal attack film I saw as a kid, and it traumatized me to a point that I concocted ways to survive if a giant tarantula would ever attack me. Oh, and The Uncanny, too. Great film. Most of the animal attack films are guilty pleasures, though. You can’t possibly say they’re “quality” but they are fun beyond belief. Some of the “guilty pleasures” I would have loved to see included in When Animals Attack are Snake Island, King Cobra, Octopus, Spiders, and Crocodile.

Which is more fun - to write or to edit?

I like both, but I think I prefer editing, especially when I can assemble a group of such talented writers. I think I’m too hard on myself to really enjoy writing to the fullest.

Can we expect a sequel „When Animals Attack Again“ or are you done with editing for now?

Absolutely. There are still so many fun animal attack movies that deserve their special spot that a sequel is inevitable. It won’t be for this year, but the animals will definitely attack again.

Kes soovib tekste eesti keeles lugeda, siis sellekuises Reaktoris on olemas nii raamatuülevaade kui ka miniintervjuu.

Ja pisikese boonusena, neile kes nii kaugele lugesid By the way, if you want a horror movie with cows, you may want to look into Isolation (2005) ;-)

Must Pahandus / Bad Black (2016)

Ühe filmisõbra südant ei soojenda miski rohkem kui ehe kirg. Kujundlikus võtmes mõtlen. Ma ei kavatse siin mingeid varjundeid kiitma hakata. Ning kui on stuudio, kes meisterdab filmis kasutamiseks relvi muruniiduki juppidest, siis palju ehedamaks kirg kinotegemise vastu minna ei saa.

Uganda stuudio Wakaliwood ei tohiks vast täiesti tundmatu nimi olla. Võib aga oletada, et „Bad Black“ (2016), mis kevadises Haapsalus näitamiseks HÕFFi kavva on valitud, saab olema Uganda filmi esmaesitluseks maarjamaa kinolevis (võimalus mõnel pöffihundil oma teadmistega särada ja antud väide ümber lükata).

Mõningaste seebiooperlike sugemetega stsenaarium (stsenarist Nabwana I.G.G), mille loogilisuse ja järjepidevuse osas võib pretensioone tekkida. Dialoog, mille kohmakus on kohati võrreldav Eesti enda filmitööstuse parimate hetkedega. Juba eelnevalt viidatud käsitöömeistrite poolt kättesaadavatest materjalidest valminud rekvisiidid, mida täiendavad 1994. aasta videomängudest tuttavad eriefektid (montaaž Nabwana I.G.G). Kuri inimene võiks öelda, et tegemist on filmilaadse tootega, mille tegijad on võib-olla kunagi eemalt ühte päris filmi vaatama sattunud.

Lavastaja Nabwana I.G.G on aga tasemel. Tegemist on ikkagi actionfilmiga ja ühe puhtatõulise madinafilmi puhul see eelnevalt viidatud mudru ei olegi oluline. Relvad tärisevad, mehed ronivad katuste peale ja hüppavad sealt alla, valgest mehest kasvatatakse peksuga commando. Jean-Claude van Damme on kõige kõrgem tiitel, mis kohalik gängsta endale võtta saab. Hollywoodi mehed ei suudaks sellist filmi väljagi mõelda.

Väidetavalt olla sealmail kombeks filme vaadata muide sedaviisi, et saalis istub ka VJ, kes filmile omapoolse live-kommentaariga vürtsi lisab. Ugandalased ei ole õnneks kadedad olnud ja filmi selle lisakommentaariga varustanud. Eriti toredad hetked on need, kus kommentaator ise ka mõne sutikese jaburama koha peal sellele tähelepanu juhib, ehk siis enesekriitika/iroonia on meestel õige koha peal olemas.

Toores ja hoogne möll, mida vaadates naeratamist ei suuda lõpetada. Huvilistele allpool väike sissejuhatus Wakaliwoodi imepärasesse maailma.

(kui keegi selle vaatamisest inspiratsiooni sai, siis ma umbes tean, kus kohast lehma verd võib küsima minna)